Ten Speed Canada
Museum of Bad Art
WE HAVE A WINNER!
To celebrate the publication of Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks, we challenged you to create an inspired title and analysis for an anonymously awful painting. With so many excellent entries, the Curator-in-Chief and the Permanent Acting Interim Executive Director of the Museum of Bad Art have chosen to combine two of their favorite entries to form one MEGA badass interpretation. Congratulations to Pio and Elizabeth, and thank you to everyone who dared to find every possible conceivable hidden meaning (from cowbells to the Princess Bride) that could exist in a piece of nameless artwork.
*drumroll*
Nameless no longer, here is THE official interpretation:
Title of Painting: Board to Death
Submitted by: Pio and Elizabeth
Unable to complete their game of chess because they cannot move their arms from within their sleeveless robes, Death and his adversary slouch dejectedly near a mountain precipice. The striking juxtaposition of bright diagonal blue sky and somber thematic content accentuates the piece's eccentric mix of poignancy and Dada. By wrapping the figures in hooded robes the artist neatly avoided the challenges of depicting the human form.
The anonymous painter of this work firmly shut the door on all normative painterly decisions about composition, color, texture, symbolism, metaphor and most other preoccupations that attend the conventional modernist role of the artist as the privileged purveyor of an intuitive creativity shepherded by a genius recourse to tact and taste.
READ ALL THE ENTRIES:
Title of Painting: “Waiting for Ingmar”
Submitted by: Michael Frank
Death hangs his head contemplating how to counter Life’s aggressive opening while the director ponders how best to frame existence as a series of three isolated evenly cut tree stumps. The artist displays a deft sense of the absurd by resting the blade of scythe against a nonexistent picture frame.
Title of Painting: Your Move, Mother
Submitted by: Jen
The maiden in her pure white gown challenges her crone mother whose own robes are dusty from the passage of time. Their struggle for generational dominance is demonstrated in the seemingly quiet strategy of a board game. But the old woman's scythe stands behind her, ready to sweep the game board or the young maiden's ankles if necessary. Is it time to pass the scythe of adulthood on to a victorious maiden, or will she be felled by life experience like the remains of the trees upon which they sit?
Title of Painting: Death Acquiesces
Submitted by: Brian
In this quirky rendition of the classic clash between Life and Death, Death’s cousin Saul (noted by the not-so-straight crook) contemplates his loss to Life. Seeing that Life still has a queen and a knight, versus his bishop and two pawns, Saul, coming to terms with Life’s power on the Board of Existence, realizes his only option is to resign to Life. The single tear of sorrow that rolls down his cheek, not evident in the painting but interpreted through Saul’s agonizing posture, coupled with the image of his hands limply folded on his lap, signifies that Life is and always will be triumphant.
Title of Painting: Faceless Forms playing chess under the azure sky.
Submitted by: Prachi
The white maiden, pure and unadulterated, sits upright looking down graciously at her tainted partner shrouded in gray who seems to be losing this game as well as the game of life.
Title of Painting: Death after Life
Submitted by: Chris
There is a symmetry involved between the two characters that is at once juvenile and preachy, recalling the work of Rene "I Love Advertising" Magritte.
Sitting in what was once a forest, on a hilltop no less, the two figures are locked in a spirited battle of wits...with Life the loser! (He doesn't even have a weapon)
Notice that the chess pieces are reversed in order of color. As everyone knows,in chess, you play the other color, not your own. Death has duped Life again...
A very cynical work by a bitter artist sponsored by "Big Lumber."
Title of Painting: Stalemate
Submitted by: Albert
In this piece the artist depicts the inherent inner battle between good and evil. As a metaphor of the moral decision making process, good combats evil for the control of our soul. The real question is whether the decision to use chess as a comment on how our being is a trivial game to the nature of good and evil or a representation of how long and tedious the inner process can be.
Title of Painting: Nothing Better To Do
Submitted by: Anthony
Title of Painting: ?
Submitted by: Beardieheaven
Sunday in the park with bob and ray the hopeful blue sky-waiting, waiting for someone to write if they get work -hope and patience
Title of Painting: We Need More Cowbell
Submitted by: Rachel
Life and death, clearly represented by figures cloaked in the appropriate garb, have apparently grown tired of their once titillating struggle, represented by the usual game of chess. The flat blue sky and equally undramatic landscape mirrors their boredom. Death stares at the game, deflated, shrugging ever so slightly, as if to say "what now?" The accessory sickle of Death leans almost out of the painting, cast off as though forgotten. We may imagine that Life, slightly more alert but still timid, has just made a generous suggestion for re-vitalizing the struggle. A little music might be just the thing. A little Blue Oyster Cult perhaps- a band known for it's throbbing cowbell beat, as featured in their hit "Don't Fear the Reaper." This painting may be a reference to the famous Saturday Night Live skit, in which a character played by Christopher Walken reveals a similar fondness, bordering on obsession, for this under-used, under-appreciated instrument.
Title of Painting: Chess
Submitted by: Jamie
This classic interpretation of the showdown scene from the Princess Bride replaces the poisoned wine goblets with a chess set. The artist, like many Americans born between 1975 and 1985, grew up idolizing the character 'Westley'. The figure on the right, the 'good' in white, represents Wesley, the princess' true love, winning her from Vizzini, the 'bad' in black, who has kidnapped her. Positioned behind Vizzini is the scythe representing his impending death at the end of the battle of wits he challenged Westley to. A tribute to the artist's favorite film. Rob Reiner, as usual, you have inspired decades of bad art and we thank you.
Title of Painting: Beyond Bergman
Submitted by: Ben
Obviously derivative of Ingmar Bergman's Seventh Seal, the real creation of this work comes from Unknown's sheer courage in having the Dark One's scythe seemingly rest against the frame of the painting. To my knowledge this has never been seen before in a museum piece. On the surface it’s a nihilistic work, telling us "Yes, you think you see Good and Bad fighting a metaphoric battle on the chess board, but it's really just a painting. There’s no way this could be happening.” Everything about it dares our indifference- the three impossible stumps, somehow a foot apart from each other with no other ones in sight, the 45 degree cloud cover, Unknown’s apparent laziness of not even attempting to paint faces. Walking away would be so easy, but somehow we can’t. There must be more to it, right? How can we spend so much time looking at a painting, painted by someone who obviously cares so little about us??? And in that thought we discover the human condition- “How can we live in a world that doesn’t care about us?” Unknown’s intent has come to fruition. It forces us to ask ourselves “why are we here?” and is one of the few works that offer a definitive answer- “No reason, so let’s go over there.” A brave work.
Title of Painting: "A Game of Life and Death at the End of the Universe"
Submitted By: Jerry
The final battle between Life and Death is portrayed here, on a hillock during a clear, but cold day. We know it's cold because both are completely wrapped up in their iconic robes of office. Underneath they've got on woolen undies.
The slanted nature of the sky shows us the inevitable change over time as the universal zeitgeist changes from conservatism to progressivism-which of course ends up badly, on the ground.
Death had to cut down three trees with a scythe to be able to be seated and play. This signifies the collateral damage done by Death that occurs around him as Life and Death play their endless game. Life gets the biggest tree, she's heavy with creation, eternally pregnant, although it really doesn't show here. Obviously not twins. (Castor and Pollux, Romulus and Remus, Cain and Able; arguments can be made for any of these, but we don't have enough information to make this judgement.) Death is a bag of bones, the Great Destroyer, and doesn't need the same support. Life is taller and more robust, befitting her vigor and energy, while Death is small and bent over, representing transfats and lack of exercise.
Death is winning, as he always does, but not by much. His king, pawn and knight, representing government, an unwitting citizenry of dupes and the military, are, of course, the tools Death uses in his pursuit of souls. Life has only the bishop (religion) left to protect her king, representing birth (and sex), for use as an opiate for the masses to distract mortals from the relentless onslaught of death and to dangle the uncertain promise of an afterlife.
There are no more trees left in the metaforest, so this is the final game for Life and Death before the end of the universe. They are seated at the top of a hill, in full view of God and all eternity.
Checkmate!
Title of Painting: Extinction of the Species
Submitted by: Dianna
When great minds have frozen and can discern no alternative.
Title of Painting: Board to Death
Submitted by: Pio
A healthy mind would look at this image and not be certain what it depicted, however, the silence of the Chess-players recalls the mystic traditions call for withdrawal into silence to perfect the soul. The 'dead silence' can then be seen as one state in the personal developmental process of the artist, while the Chess Game continues to be an enigma for us all.
Title of Painting: Frottage and Chess
Submitted by: Pio
"Frottage” is “an abnormal desire for contact between the clothed bodies of oneself and another” (OED). “Frottage,” noted Max Ernst, “is nothing other than a technical means of intensifying the hallucinatory faculties of the spirit in such a way that ‘visions’ automatically appear, a means of ridding oneself of one’s blindness.” Rather, here, the artist's relentless cleaving to frottage does not open the gates to the unconscious or encourage the swarming-up from the canvas of a stream of imagistic monsters born from the sleep of reason. On the contrary, it pretty firmly shuts the door on all normative painterly decisions about composition, colour, texture, composition, symbolism, metaphor and most other preoccupations that attend the conventional modernist role of the artist as the privileged purveyor of an intuitive creativity shepherded by a genius recourse to tact and taste...with a chessboard thrown in the middle, so there.
Title of Painting: "Seventh Seal/Stale Mate."
Submitted by: Elizabeth
Unable to complete their game of chess because they cannot move their arms from within their sleeveless robes, Death and his adversary slouch dejectedly near a mountain precipice. The striking juxtaposition of bright diagonal blue sky and somber thematic content further accentuates the piece's eccentric mix of poignancy and Dada. By wrapping the figures in hooded robes the artist neatly avoids the challenges of depicting the human form- especially the face—while the choice of gray, rather than black, for Death's garb playfully "problematizes" dialectical thinking.
Title of Painting: Playing Death’s Game
Submitted by: Tracy
An existential piece, Playing Death’s Game invites self-reflection. The tranquility of midsummer juxtaposed against Death’s grimly calculated moves, challenges the viewer to contemplate life’s opportunities and reversals. With each maneuver the pure soul is one step closer to the inevitable. The question is not who will win, but how and when? Death’s indifference to the outcome, and the laws of physics, is manifest in the insouciant manner his scythe leans against eternity.
Title of Painting: Chillin' on a Sunny Day
Submitted by: K
A white sheet (symbolizing Life!) and a gray sheet (symbolizing Death!) play a game of chess (to determine the fate of Humankind!) upon a tree stump. Death's limp noodle scythe (symbolizing the Dangers of Poor Posture!) leans against the nonexistent picture frame.
Title of Painting: Death and Deather Or The Iceman Checketh
Submitted by: Kam
It looks like Death has finally met his match! He is once again challenged to the proverbial chess contest; this time rather than taking place in a dark forest, it’s a beautiful day on a clear-cut hilltop. Anticipating a quick victory, the Reaper has leaned his sickle against the edge of the canvas. But he seems to have misjudged his stoic opponent, who appears to be cut from (or turned to) stone. Or perhaps is in reality a small glacier. At any rate he can probably outlast our grim ferryman in this interminable game.
This painting contains a hidden third-dimensional supernatural bonus (Da Vinci’s got nothing on Un Known). If you stare long enough into the space between the two figures; the Shrouded One slumps noticeably, realizing his king has been checked, and the mischevious Frosty Phantom appears to slowly scoot his stump forward until he is sitting on Death’s lap.
Title of Painting: "Death's Dechessing"
Submitted by: Rochelle
Death never got the hang of chess. Why bother when you will be checkmated eventually anyway.
Title of Painting: "I just want to talk to you"
Submitted by: jabez4u
Title of Painting: "Too wounded"
Submitted by: jabez4u
Title of Painting: "Thee but not there"
Submitted by: jabez4u
Title of Painting: "Baggage
Submitted by: jabez4u
Title of Painting: The Last Checkmate
Submitted by: Carol
Title of Painting: End of Days
Submitted by: Jay
The struggle between life and death and the game in between them.
Title of Painting: “The Last Gasp”
Submitted by: Juleta
In this tragic, wilting piece, even the Grim Reaper’s legendary scythe has lost it’s will to live. The viewer’s empathy lies not with Life, though blockheaded and with glowing arm bones, but with the Reaper himself who is suffering from a stomach pain. If you can tear your eye away from the perfectly centered game on the stump, note the strict diagonal wisps of cloud.
Title of Painting: "The Eternal Struggle in Pastel"
Submitted by: Alex
In this work you see Evil death and Good death deciding somebody's fate, with a good old fashion Chess match, Clearly the life of some rather bland individual, hence preparing the work with rather bland pastel colours. Worthy of hanging either at The Louvre Museum, but perhaps better suited for The Museum Of Bad Art.
Title of Painting: Can't...Reach...the...Pieces
Submitted by: Peter
Title of Painting: MOM! MARVIN CHEATED AGAIN!!!
Submitted by: Marcy
It is painfully obvious by the ever present gray robe and the down turned head that little Morrie has lost at chess again due to his brother Marvin's cheating. Not only has he never felt the joy of picking the game they will play that day he will alway's be the loser. Yet, all the crying and tattling will do no good. This is the burden of being a middle child.
Title of Painting: ?
Submitted by: Mega
Having just executed a Maroczy Bind, White exudes confidence and awaits a response. Black's apparent dejection in this painting is misleading, however. Upon closer inspection, it becomes obvious that Black is just...thinking. An inspired allegory of arrogance vs. competence.
Title of Painting: Reaping the Grim Chess Game of Life
Submitted by: Deb
Life is but a chess game. Checkmate is inevitable, but in the end it is the Light, represented by the "being in white" and the background wash of blue spirituality that shall win out, causing the "grim reaper" to part with his scythe and slump as he realized his defeat. This piece embodies a strong message of hope for the hopeless.
Title of Painting: I’d Like To Axe You a Question
Submitted by: Tiffany
Just as in life, this painting evokes the timeless interrogative that resides in the subconscious of most, if not all, shrouded lumberjacks who idle away long hours in meditation while resting on the splintery stumps of their victims. “How do you get your whites so white,” the depressed and slumping grey figure seems to be asking, while the confident posture of the dazzling figure of shimmering purity indicates a healthy attitude and a healthy diet. This divergence of the central figures almost eclipses the symbolism of evil moving on to its next mission via the short-legged serpent slinking out of the deforested arena of conflict, his work here being finished
Title of Painting: Un dimanche après-midi avec la femme de Lot.
Submitted by: Monique
The artist is inspired and informed by the simple recreation in Seurat's Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grand Jatte, but feels that a Paint by Number style will add a note of irony. In choosing Lot's wife as the subject, the artist is telling a story of temptation. Lot's wife is not alone, but has seduced a companion to join her for eternity. Is it Lot? Or a new partner? There is no redemption; the severed trees symbolize an irreversible loss. There is no salvation; the Christmas lights in the foreground symbolize the distractions that keep us from true spirituality.
Title of Painting: "Game of Death"
Submitted by: John
In this work, two deaths face off against one another in a game of Chess. The gray, cheerless landscape is reminiscent of the windswept romantic landscapes of Caspar David Friedrich. The Chessboard may symbolize the difficult decisions made my humankind, and the ramifications for human existence. The two deaths, black and white, evince the fluxing dichotomies of existence and the eternal questions of heaven and hell faced by all humankind. Finally, we draw attention to Death's sickle, laid by during the game, signifying that sometimes even death gets a little fed up with work.
Title of Painting: Death Chess
Submitted by: Tiffany
A new twist in the garden of good and evil has these two depictions of "Death" in a duel of wits. The starkness of the chess pieces plays elegantly off the muted hues of the death shrouds as the two participants, Good and Evil, face off in the most important game of all time. The unknown artist of this piece surely had an insight greater than our own. Who wins with this magnum opus? We all do...
Title of Painting: Death in Two Moves.
Submitted by: Rona
He captures your queen and he takes you life. The grim reaper can play chess.
Title of Painting: Grim Reaper and Grim Reaper Jr.
Submitted by: Jeff
A beautifully captured moment that illustrates the family side of the Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper puts aside it's scythe to play chess with the younger generation.
Title of Painting: "Best 2 out of 3"
Submitted by: Dave
Death bones up on his chess game with his brother Frank, who's onanti-depressants. The spare, angular forms and blue sky foreshadow involvement in a Bergman film. The lack of consistent shading is almost negligently Cubist.
Title of Painting: Eternal Hiatus
Submitted by: Madeleine
This evocative piece leads the mind to a familiar place - one of boredom and waiting without relief or hope of respite.
While the two liturgical dancers draped in their body bags await a suitable piece in which they can display their talents, they are each struck by conflicting thoughts. The darker figure, always playing the part of evil or death is consumed by the hopelessness of forever being cast in that role. His entire frame droops under the relentless pressure and despair of his quarry. While the lighter figure is less troubled by his burden, knowing that his role may be broadened with a few simple props to a wider variety, including the wind, clouds, a ghost, angel or whimsy, he simply waits. They both endure the utter emptiness of waiting, and attempt futilely to distract themselves with a game. While the lighter figure is not entirely without hope, we are drawn to the darker figure, doomed to forever be machiavellian, the scream "Behind you! Behind you!" of generations of children ringing in his ears, never welcomed, only feared and spurned.
Title of Painting: The Ultimate Chess Game
Submitted by: blue_benthic
Death, rendered like Lady Liberty in oxidized copper, huddles despondently, his white-robed sylphlike opponent having just checkmated him under cheerfully diagonal blue skies. The ultimate hopefulness of the artist's message cannot be overlooked.
A sinister counterpoint can be found in the sickle. Note its position, propped against the very picture-frame in a sly suggestion of meta-awareness.
Note, too, its diminutive blade, as if it were
intended to harvest the lives of lemmings. In the face
of death, we are all fragile lemmings, marching toward the cliff on which is played the ultimate chess game.
Title of Painting: Board to Death
Submitted by: Rosalie
Title of Painting: Death...?
Submitted by: Ally
This brilliant study plays into our conceptions of strategy and defeat, of the eternal battle between good and evil, and masterfully uses chiaroscuro – light and dark to illustrate this point. Contemplating strategic defeat and the loss of his much-loved "horsey" piece to Saruman the White, Gandalf the Grey sinks lower into his ancient carved elven tree-throne. However, the presence of Gandalf's great staff in the left corner (seeming to writhe as if in anticipation of a coming battle) suggests that our protagonist may yet have a card – or a spell – up his wizard's sleeve.
Title of Painting: Take Your Time
Submitted by: Charlie
The title is intended to put into perspective, the eternity of time available to the particular players of this game. It also reflects the reality of play in that some folks take forever to make their move which, in this piece, is really of no consequence.
Title of Painting:
Submitted by: Tara
Under a brilliant blue sky, Life and Death are locked in an eternal game of chess. The juxtaposition of the bright sky, full of life and possibility, against the dead and decaying tree stumps evoke a sense of uncertainty and certainty all at once.
Title of Painting: Checkfate: I missed the lesson on how to paint people
Submitted by: Cathy
Good and evil battle it out, not in a battle between angels and demons, but in a simple game of chess.
Title of Painting: The Game of Life
Submitted by: Michael
The forces of Good and Evil, of Life and Death, are inter-locked in a battle-royale of wits in this beautifully rendered watercolor by an unknown artist. The forces of Life are cleverly represented by the white cloaked figure, and Death, the Grim Reaper, appears in black - a contrast that subtly underscores the diametrically opposed forces at work here.
Who is the winner? - Surely you are, for having viewed this masterpiece. Check... and mate!
Title of Painting: ?
Submitted by: Stephanie
"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"
Title of Painting: ?
Submitted by: Stephanie
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"
- Vinzini from Princess Bride.
Title of Painting: High Stakes
Submitted by: Peter
This is a depiction of beauty, a representation of Death and Life, toying with a human being. The chess game is the decision, Life and Death deciding the fate of a person with a checkmate, a simple move may yet cause the tension to fall on one of them, Death or Life?
Title of Painting: "No More Moves"
Submitted by: Joe
A powerful metaphor within a metaphor. This tour de farce exemplifies the hopelessness of making the next move or any move at all. After all are we not just extensions of tree trunks ourselves? The darker figure slumps under the inevitability of the encroaching tendril of fate and the lighter figure stoically waits for the next move which never comes. The bright blue-streaked sky offers a glimmer of hope until our eyes encounter the purgatory-colored earth that our hapless subjects feet are rooted in. The pain is palpable, the suffering endless, the neurosis holds the viewer hostage, the move is not to be...
Title of Painting: Stalemate: Chess Game with Tree Stump #4:
Submitted by: Amber
As Life and Death celebrate their millionth Silver Anniversary in the artist's humble nod to Ingmar Bergman, clearly the passion has waned. This stark representation of cosmic impotency is profoundly illustrated against a serene backdrop of clear azure sky. The couple's palpable sense of yearning is achingly portrayed by their intense desire to engage in a simple game of chess, despite the obvious lack of body parts needed to do so. Death has become flaccid under the constant, piercing thought-rays of his "Holier Than Thou" wife; clearly there are no cocktails or Viagra to liven up this party. No, they are sadly condemned to eternity together in this forest of amputees....
The frustration of this pair is made even more evident by the artist's clever positioning of the pert chess-men atop a stump which juts forcefully up between these sad specters, while the fully erect scythe lurks nearby at the ready-but alas, forever out of reach. Thank goodness there isn't a cloud in the sky.
Title of Painting: dark picnic
Submitted by: Annie
springtime in Connecticut does nothing to help Night's game. he has spent too long in the black forest & out of practice.
Title of Painting: “Your move, Ernie”
Submitted by: Beryl
Title of Painting: PAWNS OF PAIN
Submitted by: Paula
Bringing together the themes of solitude, mortality and sheer ennui is this stark painting of the endless chess game. The bold shapes and astonishing amount of negative space excite the eye as the game played by The Grim Reaper and his blue younger brother stimulate the mind.
Title of Painting: “Unlit Ted”
Submitted by: Joe
After careful evaluation, “Untitled” must be a misspelling. This painting seems to depict a chess match in which Ted, the player on the left, is in a gray fog of confusion, not knowing which move to make next while his opponent has suddenly recognized the checkmating move, hence the “idea-brightness” from an era before light bulbs came to represent epiphanies.
Ted’s tactic of using the poorly rendered stick-figure wiener dog to distract the “enlightened one” has failed.
Damn.
Title of Painting: "I Call the Shots Here"
Submitted by: Nalle
This picture is showing what really took place in a pause, when the late Ingmar Bergman instead of directing the movie Gycklarnas Afton (Sawdust and Tinsel), played a game of chess with Death. That game he won.
As usual, while directing, Ingmar was clad in what he called his "white" monk's frock (actually at this time it was turning quite grey (not to mention the stench downwind, which is why Death is crouching down)).
Title of Painting: “Three Stumps in the Park”
Submitted by: Maria
“Three Stumps in the Park” by Anonymous celebrates the timeless question we all ask ourselves, “When will I die?” Death is perched on his chopped off tree, studying the chessboard as his pieces totter on the edge of the two-dimensional stump, yet still inexorably march towards obliterating Life’s shining white pieces. Life holds his shrouded head high, acting as if he “holds all of the cards” but even the ground around his stump has had the lush greenery of the rest of the park obliterated as if it was sprayed with a good dose of Round-Up, showing, again, that Death will have his victory. Meanwhile, Death’s scythe is ready at hand, propped against we know not what, and the game goes on under the cloudless, ethereally blue sky.
Title of Painting: Your soul for a game of chess
Submitted by: Peter
Here we see the forces of life and death playing chess. We don't know what the stakes are, possibly... you? In the end, death always wins: although life is putting up a good fight, we see death having one piece more. (And anyway, he can always use his scythe to clobber life if the need should arise.) Notice the fact that both figures have a lot of similarities, "are the colors of their cloaks actual colors or a matter of perspective?" we can not help asking. The fact that the author cleverly omitted the faces leads us to another of life's questions: which face would be worse, that of death or that of eternal life?
Title of Painting: Chess Match Between Life and Death
Submitted by: Deb
A truly inspiring representation of how fragile life can be, a mere pawn in the eternal chess game between life and death. Will the crumpled figure of the grim reaper prevail this time, or the hopeful and confident force of life? Either way, they acknowledge their fellowship over a friendly game of chess.
Title of Painting: The Agony of Defeat
Submitted by: Elizabeth
Stunned and slumped, the Grim Reaper contemplates his next move. The vibrant blue sky striped with careless contrails and the unusually curved grassy knoll adds levity to the darker mood – this game of park chess is for keeps.
Title of Painting: Passing the Knight
Submitted by: Christopher
It's good vs. evil in this almost epic, but sadly flaccid tale of the grim reaper come to harvest the souls of mankind over a painfully slow game of chess. The previously unknown "white reaper" seems poised to make a move, but with further study neither reaper seem to have moved for some time. Nearby a damaged scythe, leans bent and strained like the artists ability to capture light on cloth. Alas we will never know the outcome of this fierce match, because much like the stumps they rest on, this artist cut short it's development.
Title of Painting: “Tea with the Devil and God”
Submitted by: Donna
When I first looked at it, the first thing that came into my mind was something evil (in Black) and something good (in White). Perhaps they are sitting down over a cup of tea deciding on someone's soul.
Title of Painting: Uninspired
Submitted by: Frances
The grim reaper ponders his next move in the game with the soul opposite. Uninspired though his moves may be, he rests assured he will win eventually.
Title of Painting: Stale Mate
Submitted by: Joanna
The low positioning of the massive simplified forms adds a depressive weight to the two protagonists, despite the clear blue skies behind. Whose move is next? The leaning sickle implies a comment on the illusory nature of temporal existence as a function of our universe, or possibly indicates two second life avatars that are currently 'away'.
Title of Painting: ?
Submitted by: Keith
A sobering establishment of Saruman as the head of the Wizards of Middle Earth. "Sorry, Gandalf, but I'm the boss now." The crushing blow to Gandalf's ego is obviated by sunken shoulders and a hung brow. "And I'm going to want weekly progress reports from you and the other Wizards." In the background, a glacial ice wall elicits a subliminal chill.
Title of Painting: “Got Bobby Fischer; get you too.”
Submitted by: David
The picture depicts a chess match between the dark figure, Death -- note his scythe --, and the light figure, the Spirit of Chess. Death, with the help of Big Blue, has put Spirit in check.
Title of Painting: ?
Submitted by: B.D.
Few pieces speak to the delicate human condition as much as this amazing work. Life, represented by a white shrouded figure, sits upright and intent awaiting Deaths next move. Death in some way looks defeated but ever present and worthy of the close attention it is afforded.
The sickle sits an ominous spectre underlining Deaths malicious intend towards us as pawns in the most significant game of all, our very fate determined with each move.
Moving and significant.
Title of Painting: Eternal Stalemate
Submitted by: Ben
Good and Evil (or Evil and Good from left to right) play their ongoing game of wits. Currently, Good is in the lead due to blue skies and green grass, but it's just a matter of time until the tables turn and the background loses color.
Title of Painting: Stumped!
Submitted by: Alan
Good overcomes Evil. White overcomes black (blue?). Reaper checks out.
Title of Painting: STUMPED
Submitted by: connie41
The endless battle of life and death is depicted here , in this naive work. The artist has evoked a sense of eternity in the sky which echoes the eternal struggle between life and death, good and evil , light and dark. The figures seem to be at a stalemate , but with the hope of the artist's optimism, DEATH has laid down his sickle , albeit precariously. LIFE, the white garbed figure, seems to be somewhat proud to have STUMPED his nemesis , as reflected in his posture. The opponents are each perched on a STUMP as is the eternal chess game, illustrating that DEATH, darkness and evil, will always be STUMPED when it comes to overcoming the unrelenting force of LIFE, light and good.
Title of Painting: “Your Move, Mort”
Submitted by: Neil
On a desolate hillock at the top of world, the age-old forces of life and death ponder their next moves. The tree stumps represent the three dimensions, truncated close to the earth to illustrate the shallowness of our worldly perceptions; the Grim Reaper's scythe—at rest—proves that even Death takes a holiday; and the hooded housecoats worn by the chess tournamenteers depict humanity's loose-fitting mortal coil, soon to be shuffled off as casually as a checkmate.
Title of Painting: The Triumph of Diversity
Submitted by: Joe
Thousands of spectators share the point of view of the artist as they cheer on the finalists of the Taliban Women’s Chess Championship in Kabul, North Dakota.
Title of Painting: Death…What a Rook!
Submitted by: Derek
Title of Painting: The Eighth Seal
Submitted by: Derek
Title of Painting: Death plays Chess
Submitted by: Angela
What we must ask ourselves is: if Death loses do we all live forever or does that just mean Death sucks at Chess?
Title of Painting: Mierda Repel
Submitted by: Gina
Title of Painting: A Bilateral Meeting
Submitted by: Oxana
Title of Painting: Stumped
Submitted by: NETTLEHART
Stumped represents the alternatively simple and complex nature of life and death, of good and evil, of everlasting and transient. The figures hold, in their very austerity, such a myriad of meaning as to hold the viewer enthralled. The simple act of not delineating each nuance adds detail by omission. The viewer is forced to confront the eternal, yet daily, confrontation of life and death. Will the queen's pawn check the king's rook?
Set upon the abbreviated tree trunks - representing nature as opposed to, yet never separated from, the determination and fate of mankind - the forces of life and death are literally stumped. This juxtaposition of man, nature and the divine is brought into clear focus by the use of vague, seemingly childishly simple, subtle and blurred brush strokes, that bespeak true genius of interpretation.
The dark figure is seen slouching, in thought or consternation, while the light figure is seen as upright and tall, evocative the inherent qualities of each. The scythe, while seeming nonchalant in placement, could have been thrown aside in frustration as the match becomes a challenge, or laid aside set near at hand, to be picked up as the game ends. The scythe is also seen with lower additions, which have connotations yet to be explored. Seen as thorns, representing the pain of death, they could also be steps along the shaft for the hand of death. Is this the crutch of death? Are there aspects of death the artist wants the viewer to explore? Again, the interplay of obvious and devious is fascinating.
Eschewing the drama of the old masters, the intentional effrontery of the early to mid 20th century modern art, the populist realism of the 40's through 70's, this portraiture defines a newer, fresher, more intimately bespoken art.
Title of Painting: Chest Set of the Damned
Submitted by: Terri
“Good” meets “Evil” over a heated game of chess in this portrait, which contrasts bright blue sky against the universal juxtaposition of black and white, which appears both on the chessboard and in the apparel choices of the protagonists. The lines in the sky mirror the diagonal path of the Bishop on the chessboard, indicating that a higher being is indeed at work here. The seated figure of Good is serene and well lit, her posture upright and her face hidden demurely. Evil sits slumped, bathed in shadow on this cloudless day, suggesting that Good has just yelled, “checkmate!”
Title of Painting: Final Deciding Factor
Submitted by: Jrexmarda
A life and death struggle, portrayed as a chess game in this piece, is brought forth in grim detail with Death, as the huddled thinker, while bright and tranquil Life assumes the role as patient waiter. Though seemingly backward in its inference, one gains a sense of comfort in that the "deciding factor" is not a coin toss.
Title of Painting: "deadly duel of duality (Jeepers, reapers)"
Submitted by: Bruce
The power of this painting is split between it's puzzling yet peaceful countenance and it's sheer near stupendous "badness". The uncharacteristically pale reaper pondering his next gambit against his darker counterpart brings a delicious tension to what might first appear to be merely an oddly idyllic and leisurely scene.
Considering the paltry number of remaining pieces on the board, one might speculate that the dark reaper is looking dejected perhaps due to an impending checkmate from his much more relaxed pale adversary.
We might further contemplate that with only one scythe, one wonders just what the outcome of the match will determine. Does the winner take up the implement to proceed with the day's deathly assignations? Or does the winner "get the day off"? Or.... is there perhaps much, much more at stake? And whose move is it anyway?
"Check", please....
Title of Painting: Lovely day for a game of chess
Submitted by: Rachel
The artist has created a lovely day for a dance of fate. If you lose, you will die. If you win, you will live forever. Checkmate if you dare....Reminiscent of the "Seventh Seal," only this time, death may not have a chance. Who will win, and who's prize will be worse? Only time will tell.
Title of Painting: 'Death is Bad at Chess.'
Submitted by: Hyacinth
As you can see, two "people" are sitting at a chess board, one robed entirely in black (gray, maybe), the other in white. A scythe is behind the one robed in black/gray (actually, it's beginning to look more blue... maybe a dusky cobalt?). The scythe is a popular symbol for death, although it is actually used in farming. This comes from the idea that death 'reaps' the souls of the living, thus giving way to the name the 'Grim Reaper.' The opposite of death is life, and thus, the person robed in white. The person in white is larger than the person in black/gray/dusky cobalt (from now on referred to as 'Death'), symbolising that there is more to life than there is to death. 'Death' seems to be hunched over, a sign of age or scoliosis. As many people know, one's ability to play chess decreases with age (and maybe scoliosis). Also 'Death's' chess pieces have moved from their side of the board, attacking 'Life's' chess pieces ('Life' if you haven't guessed, is the person robed in white). As many (or some) chess players know, it is always best to keep your ground in chess, and the moment you feel that you must move your whole army to attack, you are losing. Therefore, one may say that 'Death' is either losing, or is just outright bad at chess.
On the whole, the message being communicated is that Death often tries to impede on Life, but standing one's ground and looking Death right back in the 'eyes' (if Death has eyes, I am not too sure as I have never met, or had a staring contest with Death) will bring one sucess in both chess and life.
Title of Painting: “Death Mate”
Submitted by: Shani
Title of Painting: “Checkmate worse than Death”
Submitted by: Shani
Title of Painting: The Final Game
Submitted by: Brian
Death decides to give up the tedious job of killing everyone one at a time and plays one last game of chess for all the marbles
Title of Painting: It's Your Turn
Submitted by: Russ
Clearly a metaphor of Good v. Evil sitting astride stumps on the outskirts of a recently clear cut forest, Death plays an Anglo-Indian defense against an English opening with a Sicilian variation. The tension of Good, sitting with much better posture, which signals a confidence, even grace while Death has his sceptre within easy reach is almost too much to take. Who is this Good figure? Perhaps it is Obi Wan and a light saber quietly awaits its turn to strike a fatal blow to the ultimate shadowy figure of fatalism. Black takes bishop. White takes Death's head. What an end game!
Title of Painting: "Iocane."
Submitted by: Jaime
The painting is itself an interpretation of the scene from The Princess Bride where Westley and Vizzini engage in a battle of the wits for possesion of the beautiful Buttercup. The charactor dressed in white is Westley, ironically, since he is wearing black in the actual scene. He is clothed in white to represent his goodness, while the sinister Vizzini is draped in black to represent his diabolical nature. In the movie, Westley suggests that instead of a game of chess, Vizzini demonstrate his superior intelligent by guessing which goblet Westley had poured the poison iocane into. Vizzini is a conceited man and so accepts the challenge, sure that he can correctly guess. However, the trick is that Westley has put the poison in both goblets. Westley himself does not die because he has sent years building up an immunity to iocane. When you compare this scene to the representative painting, one can see that the author's intention was to point out that pride and hubris are evil while being prepared and willing to take calculated risks are good. The author himself was probably a Boy Scout or Venture Trooper.
Title of Painting: "Jesus Beats Death (A Chess Allegory)"
Submitted by: Debra
This painting is full of Christian symbolism. The white figure is clearly Jesus after his resurrection. The grey figure represents Death, of course. The chess game is an allegory to life/death. They have obviously been playing using their minds to move the pieces, as neither figure has hands. Jesus' posture reveals that he has won the chess game. Jesus' triumph over Death is further shown by the grey figure's slumping posture. He is so beaten down that he lacks the strength to even stand up or hold on to his scythe. Jesus has totally disarmed Death, all in his mind.
Title of Painting: “Interglacial Chess”
Submitted by: Carrie
It looks like the dying glaciers or ice cubes melting during a very long match!
Title of Painting: “DEATH IS DEAD AND IT'S CONFUSED"
Submitted by: Janiya
THE SLOUCHED OVER LEFT FIGURE I CALL, "DEAD" HAS LOST GAME OF CHESS GAME (OR THE FINAL BATTLE WITH "LIFE") AS THE RIGHT LIGHT FIGURE, I CALL "DEATH" WINS THE CHESS GAME. DEATH ASKS, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, SIT HERE AND MOPE AROUND, OR COME WITH ME?" THE LEFT FIGURE IS IN DENIAL, AND WILL NOT ACCEPT HIS NAME ("DEAD"). HIS FINAL FIGHT IS OVER OR "DEAD" AND HE WANTS TO CONTINUE THE GAME (OF LIFE/CHESS). LITTLE DOES "DEAD" KNOW THAT IF HE TRUSTS THE BRIGHT RIGHT FIGURE, HE MIGHT JUST GO TO A BETTER PLACE...
...INSTEAD HE WILL SIT THERE TIL DUSK LIKE MANY CHESS PLAYERS DO ALL DAY :) AND TRY TO FIND A WAY OUT OF HIS CHECK-MATED SITUATION. WHICH IS NOT NECESSARILY A BAD THING.
I BELIEVE THIS PIECE HELPS US TO KNOW THAT THERE COULD BE A POSSIBILITY THAT WHEN WE FACE THE FINAL BATTLE OF DEATH, WE MAY NOT ACCEPT EVEN AFTER WE ARE GONE THAT WE ARE "DEAD" (THE LEFT FIGURE). THE RE-BIRTH OF ANY SHAPE OR FORM CAN ONLY HAPPEN IF WE GO WITH "DEATH" (THE BRIGHT FIGURE). AND TRUST THAT WE WILL GO TO A BETTER PLACE...SOME WHERE; AND START THE GAME OVER.
I CALL THESE TWO CHARACTERS "DEATH" AND "DEAD'' BECAUSE I BELIEVE THEY ARE THE SAME CHARACTER BUT THEY ARE FACING OFF AGAINST THEIR PAST AND PRESENT STATES OF BEING.
Title of Painting: “Your Move”
Submitted by: Yvette
The quiet desperation of the dark figure on the left, frozen in terror, head hanging in shame, as he suddenly perceives his holy opponent is one move short of checkmate, is powerfully palpable. One can almost sense the disembodied spirit of Bobby Fischer, frenzied at the foolishness of Death using the Slav Defense rather than the Stonewall Attack. The sly, subtle symbolic structure of this delicately rendered painting simply, yet poignantly, reminds us all that life is but a game, consisting of both good and evil choices. Who, friend, will win? Who indeed.
Title of Painting: Death and His Mother-In-Law
Submitted by: Fran
Death and his mother-in-law engage in an allegorical chess game, a la Bergman, to determine where Death's sons' Bar Mitzvah will take place; at Temple B'nai Israel, the old and unfashionable small Conservative synagogue where Death himself was called to the Torah and personally delivered the Rabbi to the pearly gates, or Congregation Kineh Horah, where the mother-in-law is President of Hadassah and the membership includes no less than 10 doctors and the manager of a Major League Baseball team and is located in a "better" part of town. It is foretold that Death will lose this match and will return to doing what he does best. However, at the Bar Mitzvah the mother-in-law will have a stroke when the boychik announces from the bimah that he knows already at 13 that he is gay. She will remain alive but unable to speak. Death has his revenge.
Title of Painting: death rematched
Submitted by: Rich
no hands are needed in this jedi mind game. with only 5 chess pieces, it's unclear who has the advantage. death makes it move against a sunless blue sky, but resistance is futile against the mysterious figure cloaked in white. tensions mount across the barren landscape as death's sickle leans menacingly against the edge of the canvas itself.
Title of Painting: Pass the Salt
Submitted by: Diann
An obvious game of chess, or is it? The contrasts, in this admirable attempt at art, between black and white, death and life, light and dark are evident in theme as well as perception. One may see a lively game played between life's alpha and omega, typifying that life is as trivial as a game of chance. One may see a skillful struggle between two arch enemies of good and evil where life's outcome is based solely on cunning, eliminating any responsibility of our own. The bright blue sky makes the game seem ordinary, normal, and acceptable for one's life to hang in the balance between two players in the park. Then again, one may see nothing more than two old monks, one with a higher standard of hygiene and posture, having a tet-a-tet on a clear-sky day with the latest in Pottery Barn salt shakers. While the artwork is not museum quality, it is worthy of conversation.
Title of Painting: Pawn Takes Death
Submitted by: Jennifer
The sky is bright blue, the grass is green, and luckily, there happens to be three evenly cut tree trunks for the central characters in our scene. Death, enshrouded in grey, slumps in defeat, as his lesser known brother, Feels Like Death, sits smug and chuffed across from him, glowing in his pale white cloak, having just won this Chess Game of Souls. Of yes, no one dies tonight; they’ll have to suffer their colds, flus and rashes and come out alive.
The curvaceous reaper on the left appears to be leaning on nothing. Is this some sort of supernatural magic? Or perhaps the artist only knew how to paint tree trunks and not full trees.
Title of Painting: “Family bonding at Death’s door”
Submitted by: Hannah
It's obviously the Grim Reaper and his kid, playing chess.
Title of Painting: The Eighth Seal: The Grim Reaper vs. Lot's Wife (Farewell to Ingamar Bergman)
Submitted by: Sylke
In this unique, existential painting, the artist depicts the personification of Death or the Grim Reaper (note the scythe beside him, propped up in lower left hand corner against border of canvas) playing the iconic game of chess with none other than Lot's wife (who disobeyed the angel's command and looked back to Sodom and was turned instantly into a pillar of salt) on a "biblical trinity" of tree stumps on a hill against a cloudless, blue sky.
Death, appears to be hunched over, his face shrouded in typical death-like drab grays. He appears smaller than Lot's wife who sits higher than him and appears more imposing in her salt white pillar-y garb. Perhaps she has beaten death at his own game.
This painting is a delicious, biblical/apocalyptic schmorgasborg-- the artist wastes no time and throws every spice into the pot! Oddly, it seems to pay homage to film master Ingamar Bergman, specifically to one of his greatest films, The Seventh Seal, where a medieval knight challenges Death to a fateful game of chess-- an all-out religious allegory addressing the question of whether God exists or not.
In this painting, the unknown artist existentially joins the biblical Lot's wife to Death in a strangely beaucolic setting where they play chess at the end of time. The blue sky and green hill suggest "life goes on" even though death is all around us. In this, this artist has gone existentially further than Bergman ever did, hence the title of this painting, The Eighth Seal.
This art work may seem redundant and foolhardy at first glance-- Death in a match against a pillar of salt, something seemingly lifeless, basically, dead. But salt is a life force, an ion without which we would die. And so, this artist's work suggests that we can move beyond death; that life is everywhere and in everything, and chess is fun even if you're playing against the Reaper himself.
Title of Painting: Gloom and Doom
Submitted by: NanSolo
Twin sisters are doomed to live together and play chess with three missing pieces. Natalie, the figure on the right, the artist's wife, posed for the picture along with his cousin Rita who was pregnant at the time. Notice the subtle shading of the figures which mock the viewer. Initiates would understand the sly reference to Lacan's pointed critique, but otherwise, most would think that this painting was a tribute to Woods and the epoch of absent-minded pointillism.